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How To Boost Empathy With The Empathy N.E.T. Framework

Learn a simple three-step process to enhance your empathetic listening skills and build better relationships.

Transcript – How To Boost Empathy With The Empathy N.E.T. Framework

So I want to share with you a very quick little framework that you can use to be more empathetic. It’s called the empathy N.E.T. And if you’re struggling, you’re thinking, well, I’d love to be empathetic, but I don’t really know how to have these conversations. Then you can use this little framework. So the first thing you want to do is you want to let them speak. They’ve come to you, they’re sharing something. Your job is simply to listen. And you’re not to jump in and change a subject or to add anything until you can, first of all, name back to them the challenge that they’re facing. So let’s say somebody comes to you and they’re upset because they didn’t get a promotion, so they’re grumbling. And so you might say to them, oh, so you’re really feeling it because you didn’t get a promotion. What’s happened is you didn’t get the role you were planning to go for, or something like that. And they’ll say, yes, that’s right. And they’ll add a bit more. So at this stage, you can say, oh, so you’re feeling angry and frustrated, is that right? And they’ll say, yes, and this. Or they’ll say, yeah, exactly. You’ve got it. Angry and frustrated. Right. So you’re helping them feel heard. Now, you might think I’m not adding much value because you’re literally calling back to them what they’re going through. But the point of being empathetic is being understanding. It’s not about, well, I took you from A to B or I solved your problem. It’s just literally about understanding and showing your support for somebody with what they’re going through. So you, first of all, name back to them the challenge they’re facing. You secondly, empathize with it. And then finally, the third part, transform is optional because you cannot always transform someone’s situation. But you might say to them, well, what’s next for you? What’s your plan here? Do you have a plan of action for what you’re going to do now? Or you might say, well, can I support you? Or you might say, well, how can we move forward together? And they might say, well, there’s nothing you can do here. I just need to go through this. But by our asking that question, you’re helping them to start thinking of a solution. So never feel like, oh, I was a failure. I wasn’t able to solve their problem. We cannot solve everyone’s problems, but we can listen and we can be empathetic and supportive.


Hi, I’m Shola and I help you create a people-first culture. My work sits at the intersection of Inclusion, Communication & Emotional Intelligence.

My keynote talks and workshops help your leaders and employees create high-performing work environments where people feel a sense of belonging and psychological safety. Sessions are high energy, interactive, and every participant walks away with at least one practical framework for connecting and collaborating more effectively.

Sound good to you? Please reach out and let’s discuss your next event! 🙂🎤✨

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