Published on Forbes

Negotiating a good business deal is not about winning or playing hardball, but about creating opportunities to influence and to achieve outcomes that both sides are happy with.

While it’s crucial to have a strategy and to know your negotiation range and ‘walk away’ point, more often than not success will hinge on your ability to ‘read’ the other party, gain insight into what they are thinking and what their body language is telling you about their own strategy.

Set your boundaries

Being clear on your own priorities and ‘non-negotiable’ points means you are clear about what you will deliver or provide to your client and what you expect from them.

“Getting great boundaries in place doesn’t mean shutting people out with imaginary brick walls, or being harsh and rigid,” says mindset coach Emma Langton. “It means providing clear guidelines so that the person you are negotiating with feels safe and secure. This will also help you to be absolutely clear on what you will and will not negotiate on, which adds confidence to the process.”

Listen and learn

Negotiations are not necessarily about what is being said but often about what is not being said, so it pays to be a good listener and tune in to the other person’s wants and needs.

“We can’t second guess what motivates our customer, colleague or client, but if we ask the right questions and listen to their responses we can think about what their goals are, while still meeting ours,” says Helen Campbell, founder of coaching and communications agency Jazz Cat.

Timing is key

So much emphasis is placed on what to say and how to say it, people often overlook the importance of when to say it, which can make all the difference at the negotiating table. Business coach and mentor Agnes Cserhati, founder of AC PowerCoaching, says: “I would recommend opening the conversation, not by sharing your thoughts, but by asking a question. This puts you in control of the situation and gives you time to respond appropriately.”

Learn the body lingo

The most powerful tool for any entrepreneur sitting at the negotiating table is the ability to read and interpret body language: the subtle gestures, movements and expressions that can speak volumes about what the other person is thinking, and more importantly, whether things are going well or on the verge of breaking down.

When your counterpart leans in, towards the conversation, it often implies agreement or at the very least, engagement. Leaning back, away from the conversation, can be a sign that things are potentially going off track. However, if the discussions have been particularly intense, they could be leaning back momentarily to let off some steam, says business coach Shola Kaye.

“Watch their face carefully for more signs, especially micro expressions, such as lifting one side of the mouth,” she says. “It can look as though the person is smiling, but in reality, it is a sign of contempt, while a tightening of the lips can imply anger.”

A skilful negotiator might have good control of their body, but micro expressions don’t lie. For entrepreneurs who negotiate frequently it’s worth learning how to interpret these tiny facial movements, which are consistent between cultures and genders.

Being in control of your own body language is equally important, says Cserhati. “Keep your feet firmly planted, pay attention to your hands – they need to project poise and confidence – and maintain an open posture,” she says.

Mirroring

Mimicking the body language of the other party can be a powerful way of creating a connection with them and is a worthwhile skill to learn, one that Sanjay Aggarwal, co-founder of Spice Kitchen, has mastered.

“Mirroring another their body language, vocal tone, and behavior helps to build rapport,” he says. “It’s good to try and create the right flow of a meeting by imitating the person in terms of their excitement, vocal pace etc., and it makes the connection stronger, which in turn will bring trust and help with the negotiation.”

Silence is golden.

Once you’ve stated your price or your terms you should leave some space for silence. “Never be tempted to waffle or explain as away of filling that silence, however uncomfortable it might seem for you,” says Emma Langton. “It allows your client thinking and processing time. Not feeling the need to justify or explain also demonstrates the confidence you have in yourself and your work.”

Play fair

While driving costs down as low as possible can feel like a win, playing hardball too often can damage your reputation with suppliers.

“If a supplier can’t cover their own costs the result can be poorer quality of service, which ends up costing you more than the discount you achieved,” says Dave Schulhof, co-owner of marketing agency Red Hot Penny. “Negotiate fairly and ensure you get the product and service you need. Remember good business involves treating everyone well.”

See the full article on Forbes

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