Defining FOFO and how it impacts us

Were you ever afraid to ask for feedback because you were worried it wouldn’t be entirely positive?

In that case you may have been experiencing FOFO: Fear Of Finding Out. 

After I deliver keynotes and workshops I make it my business to reach out and ask for feedback from clients, but it’s always a bit scary, even when the session went really well. 

For example, maybe we fear that:

• We’ve failed or disappointed our team/manager/client/customer
• We’ll discover information that forces us to change
• We’ll be faced with criticism or judgement
• The conversation will be emotionally distressing

However, it’s vitally important that we solicit feedback in order to keep learning and growing. 

And in today’s culture of hybrid and remote working, it’s even more important because some groups – in particular women, younger staff and people of colour – who spend less time in the office are missing out on feedback more than others, to the potential detriment of their careers.

Learn more about missing out on feedback here: https://www.businessinsider.com/gen-z-young-remote-workers-miss-feedback-rto-wfh-2023-4?r=US&IR=T 

So how can organisations prevent FOFO and encourage a feedback culture? 

Well, there are a number of strategies including:

1. Create an environment of psychological safety where employees feel comfortable sharing thoughts and opinions without fear of retribution
2. Normalise feedback and make it a regular part of the work process. Incorporate it into meetings, project updates and performance evaluations
3. Encourage a growth mindset – foster a culture that values continuous improvement so people aren’t afraid to give and receive feedback
4. Reward openness by acknowledging employees who actively seek feedback and are willing to learn and grow
5. Offer training and support, with guidance and resources on giving and receiving effective feedback. 

Find out more about FOFO here (thanks to Justin Bariso for alerting me to this concept):

https://www.inc.com/justin-bariso/what-is-fofo-fear-of-finding-out-emotional-intelligence.html

https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2023/02/23/how-leaders-can-overcome-the-fear-of-finding-out/?sh=154847f220c3

If you’re thinking of implementing step 5 above, then reach out and we can share more information about several of our keynotes and training that might be relevant to you, including:

• How to deliver feedback with empathy
• How to ask for what you want and have challenging conversations
• How to create psychological safety in the workplace

Email teamshola@sholakaye.net and we’ll get back to you!

What’s been happening in our world?

In March I travelled to Madrid to speak to an international group from the Project Management Institute about Psychological Safety and Intersectionality. It was such an enjoyable event with attendees from around the globe (think Mongolia to Mexico). 

We’re in year 2 of our engagement with PMI, delivering The Empathy to Equity Blueprint program with regular sessions on topics such as Microaggressions and Inclusive Communication.

Also – we’re expanding!!

Shola Kaye Ltd now has an international team of associates providing training, coaching and organisational assessments on topics including: Cultural Competency, Talent/Leadership Development, EQ, Communication and more. 

I’ll be sharing additional news on this as the year progresses. Our associates are based in the UK and USA, so if you’re a US or UK-based client and would like a local associate, we can provide one 🙂

Again, reach out to teamshola@sholakaye.net and we’ll send you a brochure or set up a meeting to discuss your situation.

Communication Corner: participating confidently in feedback conversations

Let’s stay on the topic of FOFO.  

As individuals, how do we overcome our reluctance to find out so we can confidently participate in many more feedback conversations? 

Here are a few strategies:

1. Acknowledge the fear. Do you remember the classic book ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’ by Susan Jeffers? Try to be specific about what you’re so afraid of. That specificity will often reduce your fear and help you see that whatever happens, you’ll be OK.

2. Cultivate a growth mindset. Read Carol Dweck’s excellent book if you need help with this.

3. Experiment with coping strategies such as deep breathing and meditation, to help you remain calm during these ‘finding out’ conversations.

4. Focus on the benefits. Remember that high achievers often have coaches and contributors who give them feedback on a regular basis. It’s difficult to improve without the input of others. 

Hopefully with time, we can change FOFO into JOFO (joy of finding out)!

That’s it for now. Please respond to this email and share your personal stories of FOFO or let me know if you’ve found it useful. I love to hear from you.

Take care and let’s all keep learning and growing. 🌲

Shola

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Hi, I’m Shola and I help you create a people-first culture. My work sits at the intersection of Inclusion, Communication & Emotional Intelligence.

My keynote talks and workshops help your leaders and employees create high-performing work environments where people feel a sense of belonging and psychological safety. Sessions are high energy, interactive, and every participant walks away with at least one practical framework for connecting and collaborating more effectively.

Sound good to you? Please reach out and let’s discuss your next event! 🙂🎤✨